November 29, 2004

On the Body Eclectic

Pop-off body parts. Think about it; when you had an itchy ear, you could just pop that fucker off and really get in there and scratch. When you're blissful bedded and spooning with your significant other, you'd finally have somewhere to put that arm that always gets in the way. Hayfever? Nasal allergies? Take off your nose and ream that mother out, but good.

Also, tails. I'm not one of those people who likes to practice the Sin of Onan with stuffed animals or anything - not that I would judge - but I think tails on humans would come in handy. Not little fluffy bunny tails, either, but long, strong, whiplike monkey tails that could be used as a third arm, practically. Just imagine the balance you'd have with a tail. If John Kerry had had a tail he never would have plowed over that snowboarder, thereby losing the crucial Mountain Stoner vote. Right there - course of history, changed forever. Why, if Nelson had had a tail at Trafalgar...

Why are you looking at me like that? I'm talking design, okay?

Posted by Queenie at November 29, 2004 08:49 PM
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