November 11, 2004

Blog Bipolarism

So, the other blog. And this blog. Let's talk about that for a second.

While I love my other blog - I do, really, I do - I am having way more fun with this little piece of blogspot catsqueeze than I have had on the internet in months. What, about seven hits a day, four of those from Russian Republic and Vanuatuian spambots, very few comments, a general air of an infrequently traveled country lane about the place...a country lane that leads, more likely than not, to somewhere like Cassadaga? But that's beside the point. I love the contrasts. To wit:

On my other blog, I try to be fair, to examine both sides of an issue. Conversely, there is only one side in Queenie's World, and that's Queenie's side. That's kind of fun. Of course, it makes it easier that this isn't exactly what you'd call a "public forum". Take a look at the sitemeter, for God's sake. Love it!

On my other blog, I edit. Here, I go splat! at the keyboard and post what sticks. Who the fuck cares?! Joy, above all my desiring!

On my other blog, I self-edit, meaning I throw up a filter between the fetid ooze my brain sits in and the world. When one is Inblognito, one may indulge in textual Tourette's to one's heart's content. Fuck! Piss! Shit! Satan! Mama!

On my other blog, I can't talk about sex, drugs, or rock and roll anymore without getting a screeching e-mail from a relative or something. Everyone I know knows about it now, thanks to the fucking newspaper. And where's the fun in that?

On my other blog, I cannot, for the sake of my family, tell the whole truth. Here, it's anything goes. Don't you love it???

I never posted "rules" on my old blog, no list of shit you could or couldn't do, no roll of infractions that would result in banning, nothing like that. Pretty much anything goes over there, unless you really, really piss me off - or spam me - the former being extremely infrequent. So, in the spirit of contrast, I present the Inblognito Reader's Guide to Maintaining Your Cover:

1) Never, ever come at me with politics. This space is sacrosanct to fluffy-headed storytelling. Any politics with me will result in a poke in the eye with a dry stick. Unless America is attacked again and then all bets are off.

2) Never be afraid to ask questions; be afraid of the answers you may receive.

3) Don't expect links to news articles and shit. Pain in the Ass. Unless it's something really cool. Then, maybe. But I'm not a linker. I'm on the down-low.

4) Don't hesitate to cuss. Ever. Good cussing is like poetry if constructed properly.

5) Don't hesitate to ignore the login request for comments. I hate that shit, and if I were visiting YOUR blog and you asked me to sign up to comment, I'd be history. Buh-bye. Please, comment anonymously if you like.

6) Expect stories of a graphic nature. This site is not safe for work, ever, nor is it intended for consumption by anyone under the age of 42. Pregnant women, people with heart conditions, back trouble, and scurvy might want to refrain from going Inblognito. The mental images presented in this blog have been known to cause psychic damage in the unwary.

7) No, I won't tell you what my other blog is.

8) I will not be de-spamming this blog. If the spammers take it, I'm abandoning the place. If you see tumbleweeds, you'll know the bastards got me.

9) Inblognito will contain material offensive to just about everyone. I promise.

10) If you have a link on this page, it is because I read your blog every day. A link here puts you under no obligation to link back. Do it if you like, but I won't ask for it and I won't expect it. I hate shit like that, anyway. Reminds me of fucking Girl Scouts.

Don't get me started on the Girl Scouts, the cunts, the little dentatas-in-training. I had a horrible experience with the Girl Scouts...but something tells me I should save that for another time...

Posted by Queenie at November 11, 2004 10:51 PM
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