December 18, 2004


Today my Velocipater posted a luscious picture of the recently renovated Anna Nicole Smith (all dotted up for the mutant, but that's beside my point). Since this is Inblognito and I can say anything I goddamn well please, I have to admit the shame of shames: I am so jealous of that woman.

Before you recoil in shock and horror, let me reassure you: no, I don't want her body, or her career, or her reputation, or that fucked-up little dog, nor any part of her consciousness - and I certainly don't covet the intergalactic black-hole that is her life. I'm a woman of simple needs. I just want her drugs.

Can you imagine? You've seen her show. You've seen her try to walk. You've seen her in public, essaying to speak to the cameras without letting too much drool pool up in her cleavage. That lady is soaring. All the time, twenty-four-seven. What the hell is she on? And where do you get it?


Posted by Queenie at December 18, 2004 08:24 PM

Shit, baby. Let me talk to Cat.

Posted by: Velociman at December 18, 2004 08:37 PM

I, on the contrary, would shag her til I went blind, assuming they invent some sort of Star Trek antibiotic. She is the Perfect Woman, as long as she doesn't talk. I'm told that vets have a little procedure for that problem. Snip-Snip, and all she could do is whisper sexily in my ear. Pity the vampire that nips her, though, waking all agrog, hours later, just as the sun beats in on him.

Posted by: Bane at December 18, 2004 09:49 PM

I had the misfortune to watch one of her porn flicks on Skinamax one night, pre-lardass, and that woman was a trip. Honest to goodness, she did everyone in the film. It got to the point of being just hysterical. If I had to watch her masturbate ONE MORE TIME I was going to just fall out of my chair from boredom.

But you do have a point about her recreational pharmaceuticals.

Posted by: Mamamontezz at December 19, 2004 01:02 AM

Considering she married the U.S. Mint, even though the courts cut down her inheritance, one thinks she can now afford her own division of dweebs at Pfizer to cook up whatever she needs.

Posted by: weaselteeth at December 19, 2004 02:48 AM

You are so Right, Weaselteeth! I had never considered the fact that these may actually be Boutique Pharmaceuticals.

I wonder if she has an outlet on Rodeo Drive.

Posted by: Mamamontezz at December 19, 2004 03:31 AM

Oh no. She's not on drugs. It's her accent.

Or she was tired from her workout.

Yeah. Thats it.

Posted by: ames at December 19, 2004 06:46 AM

In that particular picture, it looks to me like she's hallucinating. I believe that she believes she is actually checking melons for ripeness.

Posted by: RedNeck at December 19, 2004 09:52 AM

That girl has some bitching clavicles. I've found a new erogenous zone (for me, anyway. And that's what it's all about, right?)

Posted by: Velociman at December 19, 2004 06:54 PM
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