January 21, 2005


Can't you people just cut it the fuck out already?

I mean, really. It's embarassing. What, all the souls were saved, so you had to find something else to fill your time with? All the hungry children in Africa fattened up? All the crime, all the hate, totally wiped out by everyone's perfect knowledge of God's Love? No, take a minute and ask yourself if you really want to stand here and try to tell me that the most important thing you could be doing with your time, your pulpit, and your massive, capital-generating, faith machine is to pick nits with a cartoon character?

Don't you have any idea how ridiculous you're making yourselves look, now, at a time when any fool can see that your faith is under massive attack, when those who espouse your beliefs in any sort of public argument are immediately dismissed as Jesus freaks, right-wing nutjobs, a bunch of fruit-loops? Unbelievable. Shit like this is, for the Christian faith as a whole, like the Dukakis helmet picture, or the snaps of Kerry in the blue NASA cleansuit, looking for all the world like a French sperm. It's bad PR. Makes the whole idea of the church a focal point for derision.

I understand that a lot of Christians are morally opposed to any perceived permissiveness with regard to homosexuality; I don't agree with that position, but I admit that this is an issue where reasonable people disagree. If, however, preachers insist on standing up and making broad proclamations on the topic, I wish to hell they'd do it in a manner that shows some forethought for how this advances Christ's work as a whole - is what I do now going to reflect well on my faith? How will the media be inclined to portray it to the millions and millions and millions of unsaved they service? Will my actions bring souls to the Lord, or push them away? I'm sorry, but picking an argument with Spongebob Squarepants is just doomed to failure; even if you're right, you still look like an asshole.

Dumbasses. Fucking fiddling, and Rome a complete tinderbox.

Posted by Queenie at January 21, 2005 07:37 PM

Let's kick them out of the club. The tent ain't THAT fricking big. Most of these types end up being child molesters and strugglers with their God-given gayness, anyway. My opinion: speaking in tongues ain't going to make you less queer, hoss. Learn to live with it.

Posted by: Velociman at January 21, 2005 08:32 PM

Just what the world needs, and whole new set of phobias. Tinky Winky, Velma, and now Spongebob. What in the hell is the world coming to?

I can't recall, did they have issues with Jessica Rabbit too

Posted by: jmflynny at January 21, 2005 08:48 PM

The teletubbies were different though. Those bitches were downright creepy. I was grateful when Miss Priss outgrew those purple custard squirting aliens.

Spongebob is different. I'm surprised it's Dobson picking it this time. I'd be interested to see the video.

Posted by: Key at January 21, 2005 09:36 PM


That is all.

Posted by: Velociman at January 21, 2005 09:39 PM

Reminds me of ostentatiously pushy Christian bumper stickers on cars driven by horribly rude, dangerous, unlawful bad drivers.

I mean, if you do a whoopsy on the road, you don't want other people to associate that with the doctrine yer espousing, do ya?

Posted by: Justthisguy at January 22, 2005 03:38 AM

This is getting just plain stupid. I got irked when oh so mighty Falwell hit on the Teletubbies. For God's sake. It's obvious the man never had to watch (suffer through) the show because if he did, he'd have realized the bag in questions wasn't a purse but a MAGIC BAG. Ok, I'm getting way off track here. I just wish they would keep their noses out of the kids shows. Anybody could find something wrong with just about any kids show there. All's it takes is just a bit of imagination.

As for Jessica Rabbit...her hooters were fake, and the lips? Nothing but Botox.

Posted by: Moogie at January 23, 2005 11:52 AM

SpongeBob SquarePants is gay. I know him personally and being gay myself and attracted to square yellow guys, we hit it off right away.

Seriously, I am gay, and I am always more than a bit ticked by the way most heteros seem to think it's an INSULT to think that someone is gay. I would never EVER want to be a hetero, so I think of SpongeBob as being flattered when someone calls him gay.

Am I missing something? Have most straight people never MET a straight person? If they have, I don't think they would be so certain that being thought to be straight was a good thing.

Posted by: Hephaestion at January 24, 2005 10:57 PM

Whoa. Somebody missed the whole fucking point...!

Posted by: Queenie at January 24, 2005 11:18 PM

You will take my SpongeBob Squarepants away only when you can pry his yellow, pore-raddled body from my cold, moist fingers.

I have to wonder about these right-wing religious zealot characters. They get all bent out of shape about homosexuality because it's forbidden! Right there in Leviticus!

And then they go and eat pork barbecue and oysters. Well, Leviticus say Dat Shit Be Bad, Too.

I guess some "abominations" are worse than others, huh?

Posted by: Elisson at January 25, 2005 01:42 PM
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