May 01, 2005

A Jump Through A Hoop!

Yabu held it up, and because he is a complete and total badass, I am jumping through it like a fucking trick poodle. Arf!

If I could be a midget stripper...I'd strip the fuck out of those midgets.

If I could be a proctologist...I'd be surrounded by assholes, which isn't that big a stretch, really. Trust me.

If I could be a missionary...I'd go to a remote and tropical island populated by a primitive, unspoiled, and hopelessly naive indigenous people, go native as quickly as humanly possible, quietly bump off any colleagues I might have with me, and immediately begin the process of convincing the rest of the islanders to worship me as their Living Goddess, through the use of simple modern-day devices like lighters and mood rings and watches that beep. Are you kidding me? I fucking dream about shit like that.

If I could be an athlete...I'd want to be a really tough lipstick-dyke-type tennis player. A white, rugmunching Serena. What?? Sounds fucking killer to me.

If I could be a TV-Chat Show host...I would definitely be on cable.

Posted by Queenie at May 1, 2005 12:10 AM

Love it. You'd be like a cross between Anna Kournikova and Renee Richards? COOOOOOL.

You really ARE cooler than the other side of the pilla.

Posted by: Margi at May 1, 2005 05:28 AM

I'm envisioning goddess to the naked midgets. Suits you me thinks. ; )

Posted by: Key at May 1, 2005 09:13 PM
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