June 30, 2005


Peoples come to my state (yes, it is My state now. I am a Georgia Cracker turned Florida Cracker. I will eternally move South. Nothing North entices me) and cannot believe sharks actually, you know, BITE people. Yes, they do.

The Bride was knocked on her ass by a bull shark last summer. Was wearing an ankle bracelet, against my admonitions. She's lucky he didn't mistake her for a shiner and take a bite out of her calf.

Many, many shark attacks in Florida, since records have been kept (1882). Only two fatalities, I think. One last week. The best surfing waves in Florida are at New Smyrna Beach. That is also the shark attack capital of the Universe. A nasty convergence of pooling sea, amenable to shark feeding, and a rip current that creates great surfing waves. Or something like that.

Come. Visit. Leave a limb. Iffen enough of you folks keep the hungry beasts satiated I may be able to do some surf fishing without fear of losing mine penis.

Posted by V-Man at June 30, 2005 09:38 PM

The only good thing about a fucking shark is their flavor. I revere shark meat above nearly every other sea creature, except for maybe halibut.

I will shoot a shark, just to watch it die. Bastards. I want nothing more dangerous than me in the water.

And what of Queenie, V-Man? She in an asylum, shaking off a bad batch of PCP-lace loco weed?


Posted by: Bane at June 30, 2005 11:17 PM

I live less than a half mile from the beach in Pensacola and you couldn't get me out there right now for any amount of money.
Glad to know I'm not the only one who enjoys surf fishing. Either not many people are doing it these days or noone talks about it much. What do you catch? Have you done any good this year??
I've happened upon another site written by a Queenie, could this be the same Queenie?

Posted by: Dawn at June 30, 2005 11:46 PM

I have an aversion to entering water that I cannot see my feet in. I also have issues with going further than waiste high.

Posted by: Moogie at July 1, 2005 09:25 AM

Since sharks only seem to eat the beautiful people, I feel safe.

Posted by: James Old Guy at July 1, 2005 11:55 AM

It begs the eternal question:

If a shark ate Velociman's penis, would anyone notice?

Posted by: steelheader at July 1, 2005 03:05 PM

I find that when I ram my penis, like the snout of a dolphin, into a sharks gills, that they tend to notice.

There is something extremely erotic about having those wicked teeth snapping and gasping a foot away from my blood-lubricated member, as I fuck it into it's dying, tiny brain.

With luck, as I cum, I can watch the beast choke out a cloud of my swimmers into the salty womb of Mother Gaia's uterus, slipping past those triangular teeth as they champ their last, and its black eye rolls up in death.

Posted by: Bane at July 1, 2005 06:35 PM

Was gonna comment, but I'm pretty sure Bane said it all. And then some.

Posted by: Velociman at July 1, 2005 08:32 PM

Damn you Southrons can wax eloquent.

But I think it might actually chafe a bit, B. I seen to remember a sharkskin Lucchese takin a nice rough grit to my face one night on Westheimer in 80ish H-ton. Not that I didn't deserve it.

But this site is all about confession, isn't it?

Posted by: steelheader at July 2, 2005 01:21 AM

You guys keep confessing. I'll keep recording.

Posted by: Velociman at July 2, 2005 01:55 PM

I, Sirrah, am an Oregonian, thank you...though I did live for a while in Oklahoma and Tejas. Horrible states, with vile weather. I joined the military to get out.

Never move to a shithole without visiting first.

Posted by: Bane at July 2, 2005 02:13 PM

Very nice. I hope you'll update very soon.

Posted by: Brandon Williams at October 15, 2005 06:29 AM

Posted by: Cameron Ford at October 17, 2005 06:47 AM
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