October 16, 2005


Today was Halloween preparation day amongst us MacFarlands, the day in which the decorations are brought out of their box in the garage, the day in which the children are driven to the store to pick out their trick-or-treat costumes. It was just me and my baby today, the older ones eschewing dress-up as mindlessly juvenile, Mister MacFarland lately eschewing my company as a rule. Suited me fine; less bitching and moaning, on the whole, less of a ding to the pocketbook.

My youngest had earlier in the week declared his intention to be a zampire this year, a creature, to his telling, occupying a sphere somewhere between a bloodsucker and a zamboni. We had it all planned; we'd buy him a cape at the store, and mommy would work makeup magic on the rest. Slicked-back hair, dead white face, pointy black eyebrows, twin rivulets of blood dripping out of the corners of his mouth, and, of course, the de rigeur set of plastic teeth. He's been talking about it for two days, excited at the prospect of those teeth, those blood-drips. Bleeds, he calls 'em.

However, when we reached the costume store, the plethora of choices available to him drove the zampire idea right out of his tiny little head. He strode firmly past the Harry Potter regalia, the Captain Jack Sparrow outfits, the Little Devil accoutrements, hollering at me over his shoulder - "Mommy, come on!". I finally found him standing, enraptured, in front ot the armor-and-sword section, eyes like saucers, staring at the prepackaged "Crusader" sets.

At long last, he chose. A helmet with workable beaver. A breastplate, emblazoned with a cross. A shield, similarly decorated. A long-sword, bigger than him, the hilt encrusted with faux jewels, the tang engraved with an arcane incantation in Latin, probably as faux as his sword-hilt jewels. A short, broad sword to lash at his side, a fine blade of Spanish steel (plastic), tempered in the fires of righteousness (probably somewhere in Taiwan).

That's my boy.

I wonder if he'll really get into the spirit of the thing, and go after the Muslim kids down the street?

Posted by Queenie at October 16, 2005 04:49 PM | TrackBack


Happy Hallowthanksmas, dearie.

Posted by: Margi at October 16, 2005 05:07 PM

Hopefully. Please let him know that, when the Christian bloodlust is up, Hindus and Zoroastrians are not off limits. Of course, there are bonus points for Mormons.

Posted by: Velociman at October 16, 2005 05:47 PM

Of course, there are bonus points for Mormons.

...and Adventists. And JW's. And pretty much any Catholic.

Carry Mace. And a mace.

Posted by: Bane at October 16, 2005 08:10 PM

I loves it...my youngest expressed a desire to be a gnome...I was envisioning it...the cute red pointed hat, blue coat, white beard....but no...apparently he wants to be the sort of gnome only seen on world of warcraft and carry both a large battle axe and a sword. Ah, little boys...they're all about the violence.

Posted by: catzmeow at October 17, 2005 11:17 AM

Lets hope not. The last time I checked the Crusades didn't go so well for our side. Hmmmm...now that I think about it, they aren't going so well this time either.

Posted by: Wichi Dude at October 17, 2005 07:12 PM

I'm sorry. Did you say "workable beaver"?

Posted by: shank at October 21, 2005 10:27 AM
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