October 20, 2005

Proper Names

Today I noticed several visitors on this site, folks who got here via Google or some other search engine while looking for the phrase "Hurricane Queenie".

You've come to the right place.

Give me a Hurricane Queenie, please? Not some pissant thunderstorm, either, no ineffectual Allison or Danny, but a big monster motherfucker, a Camille, an Andrew, a Betsy, a Katrina, worthy of the obscure Q, something to remember. A flooder, a ripper-down of third-world mud-huts, a hurler of projectiles...a big nasty vicious cuntbag with an axe to grind. Hurricane Queenie. It has a ring to it, no?

It'll never happen, though; I fear that those fartknocking storm-namers lack vision, a sense of the lyric. They claim we've not enough Q names to keep up a string of 'em, but I see that as the basest sort of racism. I mean, in addition to the old standards - Queenie, Quenton, Quinn, Quincy - we could bring a whole new jive to the art of hurricane naming. Quareeshacorn. Quintavious. Quelella. Quonvelle. Quellevonne. See? There you go. Five years of ghetto hurricanes right there, and I'm not even trying that hard.


I should resign myself, I suppose. Being the massive, massive fuckup that I am, Hurricane Queenie would probably just end up as a tropical storm, buzzing erratically in circles 'round Bermuda, making waves, but no lasting impressions.

Posted by Queenie at October 20, 2005 10:18 PM | TrackBack

Well, since so many of them (all?) seem to hit Southron climes, perhaps the names should project that.

Hurricane Bubba.

Hurricane Betty Sue Ellen

From the looks of the satellite photos, this one should be perhaps appended with Hurricane Quim...a big, wet sucking thing, that leaves you in a heap, wallet empty, your whiskey gone, and with a rash.

Posted by: Bane at October 20, 2005 10:38 PM

...Or Hurricane Queef, a blast of wind from an unexpected place.

Ah, Queenie - one thing you will never have to worry about is your ability to make lasting impressions.

Posted by: Elisson at October 21, 2005 01:15 AM

Figgered for sure you'd come up with...Quim.

A Hurricane Queenie would be sure to blaze a path of utter destruction, leaving in it's wake a legion of debilitated men suffering from the loss of a certain male anatomy that is counted in pairs.

Posted by: wavemaker at October 21, 2005 11:20 AM

With my luck I'll be taken out by Hurricane Quasimodo. Humped, as it were.

Posted by: Velociman at October 21, 2005 12:14 PM

Make mine a double...

Posted by: Yabu at October 21, 2005 01:23 PM
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