November 24, 2004

A Time of Thanksgiving

We seem to be enjoying a lull in the Interminable Menstrual Cycle from Hell. Let the heavens fucking rejoice - any day without the bloody gush is a happy day for Queenie. It's been so long since I've been free to walk the earth sans Tampax that I don't know how to act. Might I dare to hope that this is it - that I'm back to normal again - and that my temper will settle down some? I hope so; I beat the alarm clock to death with my bare hands this morning because it wouldn't stop beeping. I'd post a picture of its digital innards splayed out all over my night-stand, but I don't have time; I have to drag my sorry ass to Target to buy another one before my husband comes home from work and sees the carnage I made of the old one. Dammit.

I shouldn't bitch. I should Give Thanks for my Blessings. Here's a prayer:

Thank you, dear Lord, for sticking Your heavenly cork in my uterus, at least for the holiday. My entire family shall praise Your holy Name, trust me. In Jesus's name I pray. Love, Queenie.

Now. Somebody, anybody - poke me quick, before it comes back. Please!

Posted by Queenie at November 24, 2004 01:19 PM

Girl, I love your blog.

A few years ago, following the birth of my daughter (okay, hell, a DECADE AGO), to prevent any more little accidents, I started taking Depo-provera shots. What a heaven that was? Sure, there was the 5-10 lb weight gain, but no frigging periods...for FIVE YEARS.

A shot every 3 months, that was all.

Then my doctor informed me I had to get off teh Depo and go back on the pill and give my body a rest.


Within two months, I was knocked up again (I never could remember to take those little pills every single day, and my husband isn't shooting any blanks, apparently).

I decided, at that point, that as much as I love my (now) two babies, two was my max. I'd end up being on prozac if I had any more.

SO I had my tubes tied.

Imagine my surprise when I had that first period, the first I'd had in 5 years.

God, I dread them.

And now that I'm 38, they're getting worse all the time.

I can't wait for fugging menopause.


Posted by: catzmeow at December 8, 2004 10:20 AM
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