January 01, 2005

Resolved!

The champagne is Moet & Chandon "White Star" - way better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. The chocolate is Ghirardelli, little cordial-filled squares from the Premium collection, delicious. Behind me, on the television, Anderson Cooper drips prematurely gray irony on the New Year, and if I'm lucky I might just be able to scrape together a Smoky Treat. Happy New Year, glasshoppahs.

I've got resolutions for 2005, but one of them is not to get too ambitious, so as you can imagine, they're mostly rather low-key.

1) I'm quitting these fucking cigarettes. Ole Massa can kiss my ass; he has taken enough of my money and my lung capacity over the years. If I do nothing else, I'm going to do this. Fuck you, Ole Massa. Find yourself a new Ontee, a new sugar-tit.

2) I resolve to try not to be too much of a cunt. I can't make any promises, but I will try.

3) I resolve to get a raise. No shit. Old S.W. will be coughing up with the dough in '05, or find herself a new maid-of-all-work. No, really; I am convinced that when I draw her a chart showing her all the revenue stemming directly from my gilded butthole, she will be putty in my hands. Mwahahaha!

4) I resolve to be nicer to Mr. MacFarland in 2005. He takes some egregious shit from me; I should cut him some slack. I will cut him some slack. Or at least give it up more often - I feel certain that either would be fine with him.

5) I resolve to answer e-mail. I am a real e-mail loser, I warn you now. I love getting mail. I live for it. When you ding my inbox, I am thrilled to the skies. However, I suck at reciprocity.

6) I resolve to smoke more reefer, iffen I can find it. Just damn!

7) I resolve to force myself to drink more. Even Jesus drank wine every day. Who am I to argue with the Son of God? Nobody, that's who.

8) I resolve to hit a blogmeet, and hit one hard. Watch out, Jawja crowd. Hurricane Queenie is coming. It mayn't be pretty.

9) I resolve to gain a little weight quitting smoking, but have it off again by 2006. I'd rather be fat and live than svelte and dead of lung cancer. Skeletons are skinny.

10) I resolve not to kill anyone in an uncontrollable spasm of Road Rage, unless they provoke me with Celine Dion records first. Celine Dion makes me nuts, like red to a bull. Add Celine and I can't be held responsible.

I think that's it. Happy 2005, everyone. Health and prosperity upon your house.

Posted by Queenie at January 1, 2005 12:13 AM
Comments

Most excellent decisions. Although I must cry foul at the lack of the "Must show Velociman more flesh" theorem.

I merely say.

Posted by: Velociman at January 1, 2005 02:13 AM

Sounds a lot like my resolutions, except the reefer, that I never smoked but plan to start. Heh. I gotta lay off the old cigs myself.

Happy New Year Queenie, finding you has been a breath of fresh air.

Posted by: BeeBee at January 1, 2005 08:10 AM

All of them sound good, but I don't think so, stopping some of them, may make me feel better.

Posted by: Catfish at January 1, 2005 10:48 AM

Happy oh-five. Don't stop, we love you.

Posted by: Circa Bellum at January 1, 2005 05:42 PM

I selected Asti by Martini & Rossi and white chocolate Godivas... and then I gave them to my loverly step-sistah.

Me? I ended up with a shot of Wild Turkey and some boiled peanuts.

Happy New Year my storytellah!

Posted by: Key at January 1, 2005 06:54 PM

If you come to a Jawja blog-meet and complain about the cigarette smoke, we'll perform a ritual evisceration on you. Kim usually brings his sword. I just wanted to warn you.

Reefer? What's that?

Posted by: Acidman at January 1, 2005 07:12 PM

I'd stop drinking before I'd buy FRENCH champagne.

Try Korbel Brut Rose'. Delicious!

Posted by: Jim Long at January 1, 2005 08:13 PM

Oh good gez....Celine Dion has the exact same effect upon me.

There's a very nice gal at work who likes to play her Celine c.d. loudly enough for the rest of us to hear it.

I always tell her to turn it the hell down...or, preferably, off. It, literally, makes my teeth hurt.

Happy New Year to you!

Posted by: jmflynny at January 1, 2005 09:17 PM

I hear you Acidman, you gonna bring it over here in Queenie's digs? Besides, you're all talk. I took on all of ya and I still have more than a fair share of guts. ;)

Posted by: Key at January 2, 2005 01:29 PM

Queenie:

One piece of advice from someone who's been down that road before:

If you're serious about quitting smoking, quit the reefer, too.

I quit smoking cigarettes in 1993. I didn't quit smoking pot.

Within a year I was back to two packs a day.

I quit smoking cigarettes again in 2001. I made a promise to quit smoking EVERYTHING.

Here it is, four years and two days later, and I'm still off the cancer sticks.

Best of luck - quitting smoking is without a doubt the hardest fucking thing I've ever done in my life. I intend to give my kids the scare of their lives before then can start... Including ripping the seatbelt out of a car with my bare hands, because that's what I did the first week I quit smoking...

Posted by: Jay G at January 3, 2005 02:04 PM

I smoked my first pot a couple of years after I began smoking 3-4 packs of Lucky Strikes ($2 a carton!). It was good pot, great pot, from a dealers private stash. My lungs felt like I had just inhaled a flaming porcupine. Determined, I stuck with it for years. When I joined the military, I quit smoking everything after the first two-mile run. If I partook of again, I would cook with pot, not smoke it. Small amounts as a seasoning. Cigarettes? Not unless they come up with a cure. I miss my Balkan Sobranies so.

Posted by: Bane at January 3, 2005 08:39 PM

voyeur videos voyeur free hot pussy closeups close up mons pubis old babes free babes in thongs cartoon women girl cartoons free gay videos gay universe free pee pics pee movies free big movies home movies busty redheads free fucking redheads anal sex interracial anal breast enlargement puberty breasts dumb blonde jokes free blonde blowjobs hairy pussy free asian porn xxx teens teen babes girls having sex toon sex scat clips scat girl sex torture fetish clothing free bestiality pictures zoo sex fat girls fat cats asian girls in thongs asian lesbian nude shemales black shemale cheerleaders in the shower hot cheerleaders in thongs naked boys naked yoga bikini thong model gallery tiny micro bikini dog fuck fuck my sister wet wet pussy amateur picture post amateur free page male models hot models in swimsuits brunette porn free brunette tit movie gang rape rape fetish interracial video hardcore interracial young blowjob free blowjob video hentai galleries hentai pokemon women in short skirts indian women nylon stockings rht pantyhose feet free adult games free adult videos free incest thumbs incest thumbnails nude mature sex grannies nude wife nude wrestling vegetable masturbation learn how girls masturbate ass hole ass fisting free web cam girls on webcams cum on tits cum eaters bang bus free movies black gang bang young black pussy hot pussy porn star names sexy pornstars hilary duff photos meagan good pictures free porn galleries free cartoon porn ebony girls jack black hardcore anal guest jo hardcore teen lesbians lesbian girls licking free videos of lesbians sex video shaved pussys shaved twat robbs oops celebs naked celebrity monsters of cock big cocks latina girls in thongs latin lesbians girls aloud girls having sex blonde pussy

Posted by: ejaculating vaginas at June 28, 2006 07:49 PM

asian pussy asian bathing beauties bestiality stories free beastiality pics hot and horny cheerleaders teen cheerleaders fuck you fuck her gently robbs celebs celebrities in thongs teen thumbs teen sex sex oasis interracial sex hot free redhead galleries horny redhead free gay porn gay cum babes in miniskirts free babes in thongs gay interracial interracial marriages chick with dicks free cock suck bible black black penis portfolio teen model sexy swimsuit models amateur girls uncut men amateur free asian porn free porn downloads download free sex videos upskirt video asian pornstars free pornstar movies jennifer garner in a bikini bikini thong model gallery extreme close up gallery close up ass bare naked ladies naked woman horny blonde sluts blonde girl mature videos mature women nude hardcore sex free hardcore fucking movie clips adult web cams adult fan fiction pussy torture sex torture candid upskirts free voyeur pics topless girls dark magician girl kristin kreuk pictures christina aguilera pics shit girl scat personals teen cumshot cum swapping rape fantasy rape sex pussy pics pussy licking nude webcam live cam nice round tight asses asian ass ebony shemales shemales fucking massive real breasts nicole eggert breast fat black bbw sex masturbation tips homemade masturbation toy cartoon fucking gay toons ass licking lesbian free lesbian porn girls haircuts short and shaved female genitals shaved pierced pissing girls female pee gay anal sex free anal porn self blowjobs gay oral sex teen gangbang bang my wife naked women women naked movie quotes movie downloads carmen electra nude brittany spears nude hentai doujinshi anime boobs mother incest xxx incest adult baby reality sex sites brunette cumshot brunette orgasm pantyhose legs nylon sex latin girl thick booty latinas hilary duff photos

Posted by: christina milian pics at June 28, 2006 08:20 PM
Post a comment









Remember personal info?