My car died today. I mean, died. It acted normal all day, running smoothly to work and back, but after I picked my youngest up from preschool this afternoon - as soon as I pulled out into oncoming traffic - the old fucker just pooted out. Put-put-put-puttUH.
Luckily my baby and I were close to home, but we did wait on the side of the road for an hour before a tow-truck could make it to tow us the mile down the street to the auto shop. We were actually sitting in the middle of the road, cars flying past us mercilessly, but a good Samaritan - in the form of a stunningly chiselled, six-foot-five African American man in a Benz and a bespoke suit - showed up to help. That man blocked traffic with a snap of his fingers and a dirty look, allowing me to roll my vehicle off into the turn-lane on the side of the road. He ran off before I could catch his name, but I will be visualizing him in my now-I-lay-me-down-to-sleep this evening. Thanks, sir!
We got towed. We made it home. We ate dinner. I put my brood to bed, mixed my husband a drink, and came upstairs to look at all the pretty blogs. I note that my middle kid - a boy - has been on my computer IMing with his girlfriend...and...what's this? This URL in my address-cache? Her blog? She blogs? WHAT? She's done drugs and she's slept with boys and she's a mean girl, half her site is devoted to mercilessly mocking the "vaginastank" (sic) of another girl in her class and the other half is a TMI version of "A Hundred Things About Me"? Holy shit, and one of her "turn-on's" (sic) is a PRETTY PENIS????? She's fourteen, for Chrissakes! Even I wasn't tripping the light fantastic at fourteen!
Holy shit. This is a first for me. Let me think about how I'm going to handle this, and get back to you. I need a cigarette. I need a tranquilizer dart, a high-colonic, a good trepanning. After, of course, I deal with my youngest, who's just showed up with blood dripping out of a recently entubed year. Yes, sweetheart! Mommy's coming!
(dammit)
Posted by Queenie at January 3, 2005 10:34 PMDamn! Another Jungle Fever post, after Key's. I'm going to the tanning salon tomorrow, and searching genealogy.com for Frederick Douglass links.
Posted by: Velociman at January 3, 2005 10:58 PMHoly fuck.
You really don't wanna know what the kiddies are up to these days. I'm so glad mine are old enough so whatever they do, I can't complain anymore. Aaaaggghhh!
Posted by: Steve at January 3, 2005 11:09 PMSorry you had a shit day, Sweetie.
Velociman, you ain't right. (Having said that, Queenie, I'm assuming you WOULD have gotten that numbah had you been a single Queenie. OR you could have gotten the number and sold it on ebay. You market it well...)
Posted by: Key at January 4, 2005 12:07 AMI guess it's all relevant. Count your blessings. You could have found several hypodermic syringes, a couple of plastic bags of white powder, and a receipt for an abortion done a couple of weeks ago. Not that what you did find should be given a pass...it's just that it needs to be weighed against what you could have found, and what many other mothers/fathers have found. Happy parenting.
Posted by: Vulgorilla at January 4, 2005 11:59 AMDamn,where were girls like that? ,when I was 15 or 16.
Posted by: big al at January 5, 2005 04:00 PM