Cupid seems to be missing in action at the MacFarland house today. While I sent my three lovely children off to their various schools with little pouches brimming over with dimestore Valentines for their friends, I, the materfamilias, have yet to receive dick.
Hon? Mister MacFarland? Hey, buddy? You need to bust out with a card this year, okay? Last year's Valentine Festival of Nada does not need a repeat. That is, unless you weren't planning on having sex in the foreseeable future? In which case, that's fine, because we're on the same page. It would be nice if you lined up the rug-rats, too, with at least a kiss for the woman who gave them life through blood and pain and lifelong body-ruin, and, I'll remind you, that sexual process you'll be foregoing in less than nine hours if my fat ass doesn't get some chocolate up in here??? Work with me, darling.
I'm not feelin' the love, people.
Posted by Queenie at February 14, 2005 02:34 PMI asked Mrs. Steelheader what she wanted for V day.
I offered flowers, chocolate & lingere, in that order.
Her reply: "Nothing" Which is probably what I will get tonight.
This, after only 7 years of marriage? Christ, what's it going to be like after 27?
Posted by: Steelheader at February 14, 2005 04:16 PMYou women shoulda never let on that you'd happily trade candy for sex, and shoulda held out for diamonds and cash and cars and stuff. I just bought me a sex-slave for at least the whole day for $8. Such a deal.
Posted by: Bane at February 14, 2005 04:20 PMSteelheader: When you get no reply on a set of options; BUY THEM ALL. Trust me. I know what the 24 year mark is like.
I do not EVER forget, a birthday, Valentines day, Christmas, or an anniversary. And guess what? I know what the 24 year mark is like. If you play it properly, it's GREAT!
Hope your BIG "V" Day turns out well. Especially for Mr. MacFarland.
Posted by: Wichi Dude at February 14, 2005 05:39 PMRoses are Red
Violets are Blue
If I were a lesbian,
I would love YOU!
(Happy Valentine's Day honay!)
Posted by: Key at February 14, 2005 05:42 PMRoses are red
Some pussies stink
But I love em all,
Cuz I'm pretty in pink!
Happy Valentine's Day!
Funny you used that phrase. I was just thinking: V Man didn't get dick on V Day. Not that I wanted any dick, mind you, but you understand.
I'll send the Mutant to fetch you. Let's get even on the miscreants.
Posted by: Velociman at February 14, 2005 06:32 PM