November 06, 2005

A Sick Sort of Joy

My eighteen year-old boy just got home from a night out with his buddies. Nice kids, really; they come and go from our house as if it were some sort of teen center, and that's okay by me. I don't like my chirren hanging out with Unknowns; it's not that I'm a bitch about it, but hey, it's my job to be protective.

I'd saved the eighteener a plate of food from dinner; fried chicken, collard greens, blackeyed peas, macaroni and cheese, and homemade buttermilk biscuits, topped off with sweet Orange Blossom tea. He thanked me as I handed it to him, but I detected just a note - just a note - of the stinkeye in his gaze. That sort of thing doesn't pass unmentioned in my house, even when you're eighteen and most especially when I'm serving you a plateload of love.

"What crawled up your ass and died, boy?" I asked him.

"Nothing," he replied, giving me that strange look again.

"Bullshit," said I. "What's the matter?"

He burst out, "Chris said...well, Chris said that you were a MILF. And it pissed me off. I almost kicked his butt."

Believe me when I tell you that I threw back my head and roared, laughing so hard I almost spilled the boy's tea. Eighteener didn't find it amusing in the slightest. "What??" he kept asking, giving me that look. "What???"

"Son, when you're my age, you'll understand. You tell Chris I said thanks. And don't kick his ass. He can't help being blessed with impeccable taste."

Yes, there is an extra little bit of swagger in the Queenie behind tonight. Can you blame me? I feel like Stacy's Mom. Awesome!

Posted by Queenie at November 6, 2005 10:31 PM | TrackBack

Well, THAT'll make you sashay a bit sassier, now, won't it?

You GO AWN wit yo bad self.

Posted by: Margi at November 7, 2005 03:07 AM

HELL YEAH!!!!! I have had some moments like that with my eldest stepson. Once, someone asked him what his girlfriend's name was and we both almost died. The next time, someone thought I was his sister. Not as creepy..just as flattering!

Posted by: Kelly at November 7, 2005 06:41 AM

You be takin' that 'tude to Orlando, there's gonna be trouble.

Posted by: wavemaker at November 7, 2005 07:06 AM

Eighteen? Ten-thirty p.m.? Think he could talk to my teenagers? They need an influence like that.

Oh, and I've always thought you were a real milf, too.

Posted by: Circa Bellum at November 7, 2005 04:10 PM

Awwwww! Wasn't that sweet of Chris. You're now a MILF. What a rare honor.

You got the title? Then swagger away.

Posted by: Wichi Dude at November 7, 2005 10:25 PM

His friends haven't nicknamed him "Stifler", have they?

Posted by: Grumpy Old Ham at November 8, 2005 08:47 AM

My 18 yo daughter's friend told me I was a MILF Saturday night. It's rather flattering. lol

Posted by: hcky at November 9, 2005 10:57 AM

I have been called a milf twice recently, first by the 27 year old I dated immediately after my divorce, and next by a 25 year old in my office. They are on the old side, compared to what you're talkin' about, but I'm taking it. I lurve being called that. Own it, girl.

Posted by: catzmeow at November 9, 2005 01:24 PM

Show us a pic so we can see what Chris was talking about.

Posted by: plastic peeps at November 15, 2005 09:18 PM

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